We love our cats, they have brought so much joy into our lives. Their eyes are so cute, their fur so soft, the sound of them purring in our laps is so relaxing. Tabby, the male, is sweet and lets us hold him just like a baby. CG doesn't like to be held but loves running around the house in very playful ways making us laugh.
But oh these cats ... last week they dragged 2 birds into the house and 3 mice. Luckily, my husband was home to deal with 3 of the incidents - Rod is so good about catching the small critters and cleaning up without it affecting him.
Me on the other hand am very squeamish. The mice truly scare me and the thought of them running across my feet is nauseating. Sadly, Rod, my hubby was at work when Tabby brought in 2 different mice.
It was awful -- Tabby had a mouse behind one of the book shelves and kept taunting him. Luckily, they were close to the sliding glass door. It took a good 1/2 hour - every time I got close to the door I thought the mouse was going to leap out and so I would run away from the door. And then it would take time for me to get up the courage to try again. Finally, I did it - I opened the door and the mouse ran out.
The second mouse wasn't so lucky ... poor little guy. Tabby brought him in & lost him under the couch -- I did my best with a broom to get him out but no use - I ran out of time and had to leave for work. Sadly, when I got home later that evening - the poor little mouse was dead in front of the slider door. It was so gross ... I thought I was going to throw up ...
I called my husband for support and it was comforting to hear him saying "you can do this", I took good deep breaths ... it took quite a few tries for me to muster the courage to scoop up the little guy.
I get it -- the cats are bringing us presents and I'm certainly not mad at them but oh its so tempting to make them out-door-kitties. I would miss their energy and the joy they bring but I wouldn't have to be creeped out by mice.
I can keep working on opening space in myself that tolerates things that feel unacceptable. Reminding myself that life is not black or white, all or nothing, cats or mice ... if you will.
There is no way to enjoy the cats without the mice and so its in my best interest to accept the ickiness of the mice. Life is truly messy with many unpleasantness along the way and in tolerating THAT is how we find joy and love.