The world said good-bye to Barbara Bush this week. She was one of my favorite first ladies -- and although I didn't agree with much of her politics; her wit, charm and ease made her one of my heroes.
My entire life I have struggled with weight problems. Sadly, my size became tangled in my self-esteem and a belief system that said I wasn't good enough to be loved. Barbara Bush served as a great reminder that size does not matter. She was an example that people can be large and still have love, friendship, purpose and meaning in their lives. She was a reminder that its OK to be you and that body size has nothing to do with our life accomplishments or finding love. Her sense of humor, dedication to others and her strong sense of self are things that I would like to hold onto.
I happened to be reading an article called "Lessons You Won't Learn In School" in Psychology Today when I heard about Mrs. Bush's death. I have a feeling Mrs. Bush would strongly agree with the following:
"Wisdom lies in acting on the world as it is, not as we wish it to be. Here are 10 skills that will clarify your visions and bring you closer to your life goals":
1) Understanding that not everything that happens to you is about you.
2) Focusing on other people without dwelling on how they view you.
3) Realizing that you don't have to act the way you feel.
4) Being able to re-frame (and manage) disappointment and adversity.
5) Knowing how to solicit honest feedback.
6) Staying true to your own values despite what others expect of you.
7) Being open to new information or revised thinking.
8) Mastering a fail-safe way to motivate yourself, one that works when interest flags.
9) Zoning in on your purpose in a zoned-out world.
10) Tolerating ambiguity.
I invite you to read the entire article on page 52 of Psychology Today: May/June 2018 edition.