Buckets of rain
Buckets of tears
Got all them buckets comin' out of my ears
Buckets of moonbeams in my hand
You got all the love
Honey baby, I can stand - Bob Dylan
Our sweet sweet cat, Tabby, died last Monday. The week has been filled with buckets of tears - he was the sweetest guy, so gentle, so full of life. I miss him terribly and I just want him back. He had all the “love that I could stand”. Its sad, empty and so terribly painful.
My hubby and I have been talking about how you can’t have the joy, the happiness, the love of a pet without the knowledge of saying good -bye. And of course this is true in all of life’s relationships and even activities. The old adage no pain - no gain really is true.
The trick to some contentment in life is truly about opening space for the reality of this ole life. No way did I plan or want Tabby’s death to be part of Christmas 2018 and yet here it is. So for today with a heavy heart I will allow for the tears of grief, making sure to create space for them (unexpressed grief turns to anxiety). The more I focus on what I do have - our other sweet kitty, CG, our fish and water snail, my sweet supportive husband, a roof over our heads, the ability to be kind and giving to others. As I give gratitude for the here and now - the loss of Tabby is more bearable.
The secret to it all is just plain letting go … nothing is forever, its all in constant motion and is all changing - as it should be.
Thank you Tabby for so much joy, smiles, and warm cuddles. Thank you for letting us take care of you and letting us love you.