Buckets of Tears

Buckets of rain
Buckets of tears
Got all them buckets comin' out of my ears
Buckets of moonbeams in my hand
You got all the love
Honey baby, I can stand - Bob Dylan

Our sweet sweet cat, Tabby, died last Monday. The week has been filled with buckets of tears - he was the sweetest guy, so gentle, so full of life. I miss him terribly and I just want him back. He had all the “love that I could stand”. Its sad, empty and so terribly painful.

My hubby and I have been talking about how you can’t have the joy, the happiness, the love of a pet without the knowledge of saying good -bye. And of course this is true in all of life’s relationships and even activities. The old adage no pain - no gain really is true.

The trick to some contentment in life is truly about opening space for the reality of this ole life. No way did I plan or want Tabby’s death to be part of Christmas 2018 and yet here it is. So for today with a heavy heart I will allow for the tears of grief, making sure to create space for them (unexpressed grief turns to anxiety). The more I focus on what I do have - our other sweet kitty, CG, our fish and water snail, my sweet supportive husband, a roof over our heads, the ability to be kind and giving to others. As I give gratitude for the here and now - the loss of Tabby is more bearable.

The secret to it all is just plain letting go … nothing is forever, its all in constant motion and is all changing - as it should be.

Thank you Tabby for so much joy, smiles, and warm cuddles. Thank you for letting us take care of you and letting us love you.