I’m not proud of it but I find it very hard to admit that I’m wrong or that I don’t always have the “right” answers for people. Its something I’m forever working on and know that I will battle this particular monster till my last breath.
The history of it sadly comes from growing up in a family that treated every disagreement like it was a fight for “the truth”. When we are kids and feel like we are “fighting” for our egos with our opinions and beliefs - its hard to step back and feel like I’m still ok if I believe in different things than the people around me.
As we go into the holiday seasons with families coming together with their different opinions and thoughts I’d like to share the following piece and hope that its helpful in staying focused on whats really important.
BE HUMBLE - Matt Huston, Pscyology Today, Nov/Dec 2018, page 12
Not only is humility a virtue. It might bode well for your relationship. Duke University psychologist Mark Leary answered the question: What have you learned about intellectual humility-the willingness to admit that you might be wrong?
“You can be intellectually humble or arrogant about even trivial things, like the correct way to put toilet paper on the roll. When we measured people’s beliefs on a topic and presented opposing arguments, people lower in intellectual humility were more likely to denigrate those who didn’t agree with them. Intellectually humble people, are somehow able to separate the message from the messenger. They were also more attuned to the quality of evidence. In a not-yet-published study, we found that less humble men had less satisfying relationships. They and their partners said they were less likely to try to understand the partner’s position and more likely to storm out of the room.”