A Really Big Hole

Just got back from a trip to the Grand Canyon.  A week without deadlines, demands or any musts.  Rod, my husband, and I planned the trip so that we didn't have to rush or be any where at any given time.  We packed our suit cases and jumped in the car.  It really was a perfect trip:  relaxing, the weather was mild and pleasant, and so MUCH beauty.  The spring flowers were still hanging on, the colors of the Canyon were amazing,  and the people we encountered were friendly.

The vastness of the Canyon reminded me of how small and insignificant I truly am in the scope of the world and the entire universe.  How small my problems are and how in the context of all of history how transient my worries are.  Its sort of crazy but there is peace in realizing I'm not that significant - it gives me permission to ask for what I need because I'm not so scared of being turned down or rejected.  

In Western culture we put a tremendous amount of significance on how important and special every human being is, and although I agree that we are important,  I'm noticing that this belief puts a tremendous amount of pressure on the ego.  The ego, the part that fights to be right, the part that won't risk being embarrassed, the part that puts self before common good.  The ego wants to believe its survival depends on the fight.  Amazingly all the fight does is create struggle and anxiety.  To notice the ego and accept what is allows people to relax and to be in the here and now.      

I'm thankful to be back home with our cats,  to return to the work that I enjoy and to the routine of our lives.  But I'm also very thankful for the reminder from the "big hole" - I'm just not that significant  which gives me room to relax and not be so controlling.  Ah that feels better - thanks "big hole".